O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize
