woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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