in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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