Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
