take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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