Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Randomize