i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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