Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize