If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Randomize
