what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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