Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
