can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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