she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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