His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Randomize
