Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
i think im in europe. pls send help
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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