so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
