I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
