There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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