Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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