She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
When are your genitals available?
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
