a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
