so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
