Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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