yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
