After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
