we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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