Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just gift wrapped bread.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Randomize