He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
