We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
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