so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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