when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
