why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
