so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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