I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
