I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
