omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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