Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
