I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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