I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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