Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
