You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Randomize
