it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
