genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
