I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
