just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
