yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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