I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
he puts the penis in happiness.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize
