uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Randomize
