Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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