I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Randomize
