The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Randomize