Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
