Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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