Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
