dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
