i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
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