Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Randomize