Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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