This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Randomize
