Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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