She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
