so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
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as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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