Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
