His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
