hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I need to calm my uterus...
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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