well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Drunk walkin through police station. America
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
