She's like a pop up book from hell.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
My breasts were aching with rage.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
