i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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