Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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